Them vs. Us

I've been into self-development for a number of years now.  It all started when I was 18 years old.  I was a freshman at Wake Forest and pursued an internship with a painting company.  I would be in charge of a complete section of my state and head all sorts of different teams to go on painting jobs.  I saw all the money I could have made and all the successful "business men" that also did the same and I was pretty motivated to do well.  That lasted for a few months until I didn't make enough money for the company to stay on.  That really sparked a lighter inside of me to become successful, particularly in my career.  After that experience I went to the library and stumbled upon a book by Tony Robbins called Personal Power.  It was groundbreaking to me.  From then on, I went on a personal journey to better my life.  I started reading all sorts of different books on business, entrepreneurship and money.  I then moved on to different books on health, spirituality and general happiness.

Those books really played a huge role in who I am today.  It put my on a great path in life and I wouldn't be where I am now without them.  I also started to surround myself with other people that were into self development, entrepreneurship, and bettering ones life.  At first it was great to be around them and to some extent, it still is.  To be around the motivated, positive, action-oriented people only gets your motors running to be the same.

Then I started to realize that these type of people tend to be elitist.  They think since they've read all these books and are taking the steps to "better their life" that they are better than anyone who is not.  They'll point their fingers at those who aren't doing the same thinking they aren't on the same level as them.  So although it has been great working on myself and being involved with self development, I try to remind myself that it is  simply a different path than many others, not a "better" path.  I'm going to try my best not to see myself as better than anyone else because of my path in life.

Nostalgia

When I first lived in Australia, it was through a study abroad program.  It was by far one of the most fun periods of my life.  Take a group of kids, put them in a foreign country by the beach, give them an incredible amount of alcohol, and strip all their academic responsibilities away for a 6 months, and you pretty much have an equation for complete madness, which is exactly what it was.

I'm not saying that I was drinking and partying all the time (it was a fair amount though).  It was more so the environment living in that type of environment.  Everyone was so damn relaxed, and available to hang out whenever and wherever.  Everyone totally had that "seize the day" type of attitude that I've never witnessed since.

At the end of the day, everyone I was around was so damn happy.  I really miss that.  I'm not saying that people aren't happy around me now, but that youthful vigor that I was surrounded with when I was out there I still can't find to this day.

I am fully aware that the time I was there wasn't the "real world."  In the real world you have bosses, and deadlines, and bills, and stubborn belly fat that you're trying get rid of.  And in the trenches of my day to day grind, a sense of nostalgia always creeps in the back of my head.

I think to myself "Damn...  Those were the friggin' days."  That is not a good feeling.  The thing is, that feeling is only going to get stronger and stronger in the future, if I let it.  I mean, I'm in my twenties now. I can't imagine what this feeling will be when I'm seventy.

I'll be thinking to myself "Man... Those were the days when I had the energy and strength to get on my board and go surfing."

I think it's important for me to really start getting into Zen and spirituality again.  Now and into the future, staying and enjoying the moment will only be more and more important to be in.

Another Aussie Lesson

One thing I've noticed after living in Australia for a good amount of time is that they tend to strike a healthy balance between work and play. This is something that I noticed that Americans tend not to do so well. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of different people in the states. Some people are workaholics and some people are complete bums. However, as a whole I believe Americans generally skew more towards working, than playing.

When I was in Wake Forest, this was definitely the case. All the people I surrounded myself with were so darn serious about the future. They worked, at did extra-curricular activities, and went to interview, and participated in internships, and everything and anything they could do advance their careers. I'm not saying this is a bad thing either. I think it's great that America is made up of people who are hard workers and work towards getting what they want out of life. I guess that's one of the reasons we're such as successful country. HOwever, sometimes this gets to the point where it's too much.

Sometimes it's okay not to do anything, just for the sake of not doing anything. This is something I definitely noticed out in Australia. People definitely work hard out here, but they don't let it take over their lives like so many people I saw back home. They always make time to relax and do other things with their time other than working. Maybe it's the fact that the weather out here is so amazing and we live right by the beach. Whatever the case may be, I definitely notice a bit more smiles and laughter out here, I guess because no one isn't as stressed.

Again, I'm loving it out here. Everyone here is so relaxed and it's been very good to me.

Embarrassing Moments In Breakup Land...

I was reminiscing the other day about my high school years and some of the relationships me and my friends were in. Me my buddies were all really close-knit. We always hung out each other and we were always having each other’s backs if anything happened. I remember plenty of times where one of us would get dumped or we would break up from a relationship and really try to help the other person out to feel better after such a loss.

One of my best friends likde this girl for about four years and she finally gave him the time of day when we were juniors in high school. He was literally lovestruck and one of the happiest people I’ve ever been around during that span of the 4 - 5 months they were together. I just never saw someone that had such a big smile and glowed all the time such as my buddy Dominic.  I don’t blame him, he really liked the girl and always wished that he could be with her and finally things came true for him.

However, she was known to be a serial dater and that’s what I was most scared of for the guy. I knew she might data for a few months and then get bored and move onto the next guy. After about three months into the relationship she started to get more and more distant and when I heard about this I knew it was over. She had been dating tons of guys throughout high school and I knew my buddy Dominic was just another guy that she went through.

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a site called Break Hub, which deals with  getting back with an ex. I think I mentioned this in another blog post earlier but I was reading in an article on how to get your ex girlfriend back. It was pretty interesting to read because again, when I read it all of these memories from my high school years flooded back in me.

I was reading some of the articles on what not to do and it’s funny because my friend Dominic broke every single rule in the book. He was begging and pleading for his ex-girlfriend to take him back, he bought her half a dozen roses to win her over, and even wrote song for her which didn’t seem to go off very well. In fact, I even felt embarrassed for him because he performed it in class. However, when she heard it she ran out of the room in total embarrassment. Yeah that situation was pretty awkward.

So one of the things I’ve always told myself (especially since I’m in a relationship now) is to always be okay with the relationship to end. I’ve never wanted to be too into a relationship because I never wanted to get my heart broken like my buddies have in the past. I guess I’m just trying to appreciate every single moment for what it is and not try to grasp on for it to last longer. Of course I want my relationships to last as long as it can, but I’m just preparing myself for the worst of anything happens.

Another Reason I Love Australia

One of the great things I love about living in Australia is everyone here is generally a little bit more down to earth than the people I’ve lived with back in America. Now I don’t want to completely label the country because that is simply over generalizing the situation. However, generally speaking, the people that I’ve come across are very egalitarian and and treat each other with respect.

One of the best concepts I love about Australia is that of “puppy dog theory.” This means that if one person tries to get ahead of anyone else, it’s is looked at at more of a bad thing. Now this doesn’t mean that being ambitious and having goals and dreams and working towards those are looked at as a bad thing. On the contrary. I’ve met a lot of ambitious and action oriented people while I’m out here and it’s really great to connect with those type of people. However, that theory means that if someone thinks that they’re better than other people because he or she has X Y or Z, then the group typically will ridicule that person.

That’s how the culture is here which is great. No one wants to feel like they’re better than anyone else because it’s stigmatized when you do this. Now compare this with people back home where it’s the opposite. The culture is to think you’re better than other people because you have a nice job, a nice car, know al these type of people, and have all these things. Everyone tries to get further than everyone and it’s just a "keep up with the Jones's" kind of culture that runs throughout America.

This is why I love this country. All the people I met have been really down to earth and treat me as an individual not because I’m American and or because I’m this or that, simply because I’m me. It’s weird because I’ve never grown up around anything like this and everyone I’ve met and talked to has had this their whole life and it’s just second nature. For them they don’t even know how good they have it, and for me, I’m just in complete appreciation for being in this type of environment.

I definitely want to take what I’ve learned out here and apply it if I ever decide to go back to America. I know it will be hard since I’ll be going up against the grain a lot of times but I can do my part to help change the culture for the better.

How My Australia Experience Helped Me Get Over My Breakup

I was checking out breakup hub (the blog I was telling you about the other day) and I read some interesting articles. The site normally talks about how to get your ex back, but in this particular article that I read and it had to do with how to get over a breakup.

The author was talking about how when he went through breakup and how hard it was for him to actually get over his ex. He talked about how when they split, it was one of the worst experiences of his life. Not only did he feel horrible, but all aspects of his life deteriorated as well. His work started to suffer, his physical condition started to degrade, he stopped feeling joyous and had a hard time having a good time with his friends and family. When I read that really hit home and I started to think about some of my own experiences of break ups.

Right before left for Australia I was a junior in college. I went to wake forest University which isn’t too far from my home town in North Carolina. When I was sophomore I met a girl named Sally. We had mutual friends and we met at a party and we hit it off almost immediately after that. I got her number, I called her up to hang out, and the rest was history.

Throughout sophomore year of college me and Sally hung out all the time and were with each other constantly. It’s funny when you meet someone you love, all other aspects of your life seem to become incredible as well. My grades were high, I had a vigor inside of me that I couldn’t explain, I worked out because I want to look good for Sally, and I was generally happy all the time.

However, we fought like there was no tomorrow after about six months in the relationship. We saw each other all the time and were with each other constantly, which was great and all but alongside that we also would fight about the littlest things. Maybe you've had a similar experience and can understand what I’m saying, that if you’re with someone all the time you start to get on each other’s nerves. That was definitely the case with me and Sally. Although we both loved each other, we started to get into little fights more and more. Those fights turned into bigger fights and those fights turned into massive fights. We said things that we shouldn’t have and once you reaches certain point, it’s just hard to go back.

A few weeks before I left for Australia my junior year, she broke up with me. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through and everything that the author said at Breakup Hub was completely true for me too.

Luckily I was on my way to Australia and the whole experience out there definitely help me to take my mind off my ex-girlfriend and get me back on my feet. So I’d say you want to learn how to get over a breakup, (that’s a great article by the way) then going on vacation could quite possibly be one of the best experiences you can have for yourself.

Although some of you might not be in the financial position to do something like that when the time calls for it, you don’t need to go to Australia to achieve something like this. A simple weekend getaway to a nearby town or a few hour drive to somewhere different could help take your mind off things and could definitely work. As long as it’s different, it’s out of the ordinary, and it can help take your mind off things - it can be great way to handle the breakup and get over your partner.

So that’s all for now, I hope you enjoyed this little many guide on how to get over a breakup and all talk to guys again soon.

Surf, Zen and Life...

Today I watched a documentary on surfing. It was really neat and it taught me a lot about the culture behind surfers and beach bums. I’ve been surfing ever since I got to Australia, but I haven’t really understood why so many of these surfers I’ve met were so darn relaxed. So I rented this DVD so I could understand a little bit about why this was true.

The whole culture behind surfing is that of being in the moment. When you’re in the moment while surfing–that’s the only way you’re going to do well. If you’re in your head and thinking of other stuff to do you'll never be able to catch a great wave. It’s only when you’re one with the ocean and the water where you’ll finally be able to become a great surfer.

A lot of the surfers in the documentary look at this sport as a way to become connected with the whole, or whatever that means. Most of the guys in the documentary, and like I said all my surfer buddies, just seemed very centered, relaxed, and at ease. It it makes a lot of sense at least in my perspective because over the years when I have been surfing I’ve noticed that my stress level always goes down whenever I hit the water.

I used to do (and to some extent still) meditate. That’s another one of those great activities to really get your mind more calm and get all the clutter inside of your head out of their. Surfing is very similar to meditating. The whole practice is designed to get you in the moment and stop thinking so much.

I really do like to meditate too because I can do it whenever and wherever I want. When I lived back in North Carolina I used to meditate quite a bit more. I guess it’s because I didn’t have a beautiful Indian Ocean to look at each and every day like I do in Australia that I could surf in. I used to go to this little Zen dojo back in North Carolina where each week, I’d go there to meditate for two hours each time. I also got to meet some of the teachers there and they helped me get out a lot with some of the internal BS that I was telling myself at the time. The teachers help me stop listening to the “little me” and start being in the moment more.

However, I think that you don’t have to be in an ocean or in a Zen dojo to practice being in the moment. You could practice it wherever you are at any time of the day. You could be waiting on the bus stop and you could use that as an opportunity to train yourself to be in the moment. You could focus in on the sounds are coming from the birds, the footsteps on the ground as people walk by you, take note of all the different colors that surrounds you, the textures of the different metals and wall that are around you and do anything and everything you can to enjoy every last bit of the moment.

So that’s all for now, just wanted to get that little thought outside of my head for today. Take care! The